This inventive guy wrote the best ad in history in order to sell his parrot

parrot

 

Once upon a time, Alex, a proud parrot owner from Moscow, put out an ad to find a new home for his feathered friend. We here at Bright Side are sure that he not only succeeded in his sale but quite possibly landed a job as a copywriter. Because damn, the man can write.


A Venezuelan Jungle parrot for sale. Moving house, so can’t take this guy with me.

At first, I was aiming for a rook, but something possessed me to get this green spawn of hell. The parrot has been purchased at a market out of town, fully assessed at Madame Ruby’s (very thoroughly and professionally, there were chants involved), and, just in case, dewormed (none found, but by god, did we search). Parrot disease and other tests are negative (I can send you the paperwork).

Some Green Demon trivia:

  1. Crazy about fruits.
  2. Also has deep respect for special parrot food.
  3. Can hang upside down, do the splits, and cackle like a chicken come morning.
  4. Plays with toys, chummy with a Cockatiel.
  5. Not chummy with me, but can sit on my arm or shoulder (clearly hating me in the process).
  6. Has a beak that is as strong as the armor of a Panzerkampfwagen V tank, once snapped a monitor cable in half.
  7. Very fond of apples, but feed with caution: he’ll most likely eat the whole thing and take a dump in the corner.
  8. Enjoys long walks on the floor, climbs everywhere — just like a monkey, only green and very angry.
  9. Screams like a cross between a crow and a bear if something goes wrong.
  10. Doesn’t talk, but is a very good listener, can sometimes listen to me all night and not interrupt once.
  11. One day he decided to chew through my skull while sitting on my shoulder, but his buddy Cockatiel bravely defended my honor. There have been no chewing attempts towards my person since then.

In conclusion:

If you are a calm and cool-headed doctor, bus driver, world boxing champion, airline pilot, or simply feel like you’re mighty and powerful, this parrot will pose a perfect challenge to both your nerves and pride. You’ll be able to fully enjoy the magnificence of his contempt, mixed with some fierce anger and hatred for all things good and living.

If you’re a neat freak, this majestic representative of South America will maximize the number of full-scale cleanings per week.

If you’re not afraid of hearing a decidedly sinister laughter in the middle night on your way to the bathroom, then this bird is the one for you! A brave man’s choice!

You’ll make countless fascinating discoveries if you dare take this horrendous bird from me for what is really a giveaway price.

P.S. I suspect, that, when no one’s home, he calls me on the phone and just breathes heavily, in the true fashion of a creepy murderer from a bad 90s movie.

Source : brightside

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